Vtípky a srandičky

[Petr Marek]

Krmange more

[penek]

Holaj-solaj (znamená mírnyx-týrnyx).

[kad]

Tintili-vantili

[powl]

[Warcz]

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[Mirabilia]

...

[penek]

A little old lady was walking down the street dragging two large plastic garbage bags behind her. One of the bags was ripped and every once in a while a $20 bill fell out onto the sidewalk. Noticing this, a policeman stopped her and said,

"Ma'am, there are $20 bills falling out of that bag."

"Oh, really? Darn it!" said the little old lady. "I'd better go back and see if I can find them. Thanks for telling me, officer."

"Well, now, not so fast," said the cop. "Where did you get all that money? You didn't steal it, did you?"

"Oh, no, no", said the old lady. "You see, my backyard is next to a golf course. A lot of golfers come and pee through a knothole in my fence, right into my flower garden. It used to really tick me off… kills the flowers, you know. Then I thought, 'Why not make the best of it? 'So, now, I stand behind the fence by the knothole, real quiet, with my hedge clippers and every time some guy sticks his thing through my fence, I grab hold of it and
say, 'OK, buddy! Give me $20 or off it comes.'"

"That seems only fair," said the cop, laughing. "OK. Good luck! Oh, by the way, what's in the other bag?"

"Not everybody pays."

[yebat]

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[penek]

Jiří má eso...

stojíš.jpg

[powl]

A little old lady was walking down the street dragging two large plastic garbage bags behind her. One of the bags was ripped and every once in a while a $20 bill fell out onto the sidewalk. Noticing this, a policeman stopped her and said,

"Ma'am, there are $20 bills falling out of that bag."

"Oh, really? Darn it!" said the little old lady. "I'd better go back and see if I can find them. Thanks for telling me, officer."

"Well, now, not so fast," said the cop. "Where did you get all that money? You didn't steal it, did you?"

"Oh, no, no", said the old lady. "You see, my backyard is next to a golf course. A lot of golfers come and pee through a knothole in my fence, right into my flower garden. It used to really tick me off… kills the flowers, you know. Then I thought, 'Why not make the best of it? 'So, now, I stand behind the fence by the knothole, real quiet, with my hedge clippers and every time some guy sticks his thing through my fence, I grab hold of it and
say, 'OK, buddy! Give me $20 or off it comes.'"

"That seems only fair," said the cop, laughing. "OK. Good luck! Oh, by the way, what's in the other bag?"

"Not everybody pays."

...a mistu kde se ji ten pytel roztrh se rika Praha

[Jarda.JM]

Kdo se směje naposled, má nejdelší vedení:

Trochu staré dámy šel dolů po ulici tažení dvou velkého plastu odpadky zavazadla vzadu za ní. Jeden ze zavazadel byl opilý a vždy jednou za čas $20 účet dopadl jak na chodník. Všimnout si toto, policista zastavil se její/jí a řekl,

"paní, tam jsou $20 účty vzdát se tu tašku."

"ó!, opravdu? Látat to!" řeklo malá stará dáma. "Radši bych vrátit se a vidět jestli mohu nalézt je/ně. Díky za řekni mi, důstojník."

"dobře, nyní, ne tak rychlý," řekla cívka. "Kde jste dostali všechno co peníze? Vy ne jste nekradli to, vy jste?"

"ó!, ne, žádný", řekl stará dáma. "Víte.. ..., můj dvorek je vedle golfových hřišť. Hodně hráčů golfu přijít a čurat skrz díru po suku v mém plotu, pravý do mé květiny zahrada. To mělo ve zvyku opravdu úvěru mne off… zabít květiny, víte. Pak jsem myslel si, že,' proč ne využít to? 'Tak, nyní, Já jsem postavený plot dírou po suku, skutečný klid, s mým živým plotem nůžky štípací a vždycky nějaký hoch tyče jeho věc skrz můj plot, Já uchopím držet z toho a
říct,' OK, kamaráde! Dát mi $20 nebo mimo to přijde.'"

"že zdá se jen poctivý," řekla cívka, smějící se. "OK. Štěstí! Ó!, mimochodem, co je v další tašce?"

"ne každý platí."

[Warcz]

[Mirabilia]

...starostlivej a zkušenej

[Warcz]

))

Tohle mě zaujalo: https://img-9gag-fun.9cache.com/photo/apNP6V8_460svav1.mp4

[penek]

nouzák.jpg

[Mirabilia]

...

[Warcz]

image.png

[Mirabilia]

...

[tazi4g]

[Warcz]

[Haben]

[doktor]

Ja myslim, ze by to vystihl napis ŠKODA

[Ejdou Rotacak]

Na ty nové dresy si prostě nezvyknu vypadaj jak ze zámořské farmy nebo dresy nějakýho školního/univerzitního týmu, 3x fuj

[yebat]

Ještě že na to nekoukám.

[jancho]

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